Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize