Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
