The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just cropdusted the office
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
