I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
false alarm, still single
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