Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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