I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
