Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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