Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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