is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
