you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
