Is it because I queefed?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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