I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize