Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
