Kareoke will never be a sober sport
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize