Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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