This girl is more easily done than said...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
