i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
