His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize