At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize