I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
