got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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