okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
