There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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