I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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