Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
