This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
