that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize