All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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