? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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