yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
