Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
