So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
