I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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