Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
