mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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