suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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