obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
