She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
