yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
