Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
