I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
