No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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