she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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