Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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