You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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