Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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