Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
