What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sober January is a disaster.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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