I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
