Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
