I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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