What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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