Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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