If i come over, it means nothing
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
