so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
