butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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