My first STD was from a foam party
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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