Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
