i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
