drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
