sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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