the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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