Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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