clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
